


With Love, There's Hate

by devilssnare



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, Declarations Of Love, Future:2015, M/M, Old Fanfic, POV First Person, Performance, Post-Break Up, Summer in the City
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-19 17:51:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2397413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilssnare/pseuds/devilssnare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The year was 2015 and it was Summer in the City</p>
            </blockquote>





	With Love, There's Hate

**Author's Note:**

> I've decided to post all my fanfictions here and this was the first Phan one I ever wrote...Well finished. But still, it counts.
> 
>  
> 
> Hello my children, after some consideration, I will be posting a sequel to this oneshot. I decided that I would after I realised that I could follow true events from the real SITC 2015 as it's happening currently.   
> xxx

Dan's P.O.V

"..Up next.., DANISNOTONFIRE" I hear the announcer say. You can do this, Dan. You've done it a million times before. Taking a shuddering breath, I walk onto the stage. 

"What's up, Danosaurs?" I call out, speaking to close to the microphone. I wince at the sound it makes. "Wow, been up here for 10 seconds and I already made you guys deaf. Well done Dan!" I do a small laugh. There is a polite laugh among the room. "So where do I begin?" 

After getting through half my show, I look further into the crowd and my gaze lands on a pair of ice blue eyes. Phil. Oh I remember the first time I saw those eyes. It was mid 2008 and I came across a new Youtuber. Those bright blue eyes where placed perfectly on the pale skin, getting slightly covered on one side by a mass of jet-black hair. I thought he was beautiful. I remember seeing them for the first time in person. Them shining with happiness. Phil's eyes where always my favourite. 

"Yeah so, I-I *cough* I was watching TV. the other night" I start stuttering. Oh God, why did he have to be here NOW? Why not come out after I finished my show? He smiled at me. Well, I guess you could of called in a smile. It was more of a uplifting of the lips. Oh those lips. 

"I'm having a little trouble speaking. Oops. Gotta lay off the Vodka. Ha ha. " I saw Phil face down, looking at his shoes. God I even fucking missed his shoes! 

"You know what I wanna talk about?" I ask, walking across the stage. "Love. Love. Love. Love. There's nothing like it. It can be great, it can be crappy. But's always there. It's kind of like herpes, but for emotions." A laugh breaks among the crowd, but Phil isn't looking up. "I've been in love," I continue still awkwardly walking around the stage. "Multiple times. And I don't mean, finding a really attractive actor and being "OMG I'm so in love." I say this in my best Jessica voice. "But I mean, when you are so desperately, life-threatening in love with someone, that you can't physically breathe just thinking about this person. I've only felt this once, " My eyes flicker over to Phil, who still is taking a mean interest in his shoes. "And it was terrifying. But I loved it. I loved, LOVE, everything about this person, "I stayed away from male and female pro-nouns. No one knew I was bi, let alone actually WITH Phil. "I loved the fact that when they woke up their hair was stuck up everywhere. I love the fact that they could never choose what shoes to wear and that'll always make us late. I love when their eyes would light up every time I said thoughts 3 simple words that meant so much to you." I looked at the crowd again. Phil, pay attention, this is meant for you. Nothing. 

"I love that you loved snow, more that you loved anything else and I love the fact that your nose would turn red and you'd make me kiss it. I miss that. I love the fact that you could tell my mood, just by the way I was sitting. I love it that you remember all our pointless conversations that didn't mean anything. Then again looking back, they meant everything. Little whispers under the covers. I love how, when you said you loved me that you said I didn't have to say it back. I was so scared. I was only 18, but you waited. And I loved the face you made when I finally had the courage to say it. I love the fact that when I got hate, you held me and kissed my temples. I miss you. " I was tearing up a bit, and looking into the crowd, I could see a lot of the fangirls were too. 

"But, I hated things too. I hate the fact that you left all the cupboard doors open. I hate the fact you always made us late. I hate the fact that you would talk to other guys when we were together, when you knew I got insanely jealous. I hate the fact that people thought we were weird because you were so much older when we first got together. I hate that I let fame get to my head. I hate that we drifted apart. I hate that we fought. I hate how I didn't stop you when you packed up and left. I hate how I didn't call you." I was crying. I didn't look into the crowd in case HE was looking up. I couldn't face those eyes right now. 

"I hate the fact that you moved on. I hate the fact that you now have a silver ring on your left hand." I finally looked up and I saw those blue orbs. They were shining with tears. Oh God. I hated it when you cried. It made me feel worse. 

"I made you upset. I made you mad. I made you run into his arms seeking comfort. I-I-I I'm still so in love with you Philip Michael Lester. I love that you're happy. But I hate that it’s not because of me" My voice broke at the last word. I look up and you are not there. I lost you. There is a small applause, but I can't bring myself to care. I drop the microphone and walk of the stage with tears steadily falling from my eyes. It's only when I get off the stage that I hear a deep but delicate voice,  
"Dan?"  
I turn and I'm met with a pair of earth-shattering blue eyes.  
"Phil?"


End file.
